There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
