who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
