I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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