I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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