last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
