Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
