Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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