And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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