so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
