The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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