I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
