I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
