Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
