If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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