Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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