i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
