Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
