she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
