unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
