I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
