You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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