someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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