i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
