He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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