just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
