i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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