im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
