Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
