I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
