Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
