I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
