I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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