New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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