I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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