I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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