I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
