Christians are straight up FREAKS
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
