Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
