PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
