theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
