Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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