When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
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