No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
zippers are such a cool invention
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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