The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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