Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
