I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
