Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
