How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
