You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
