it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
