Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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