should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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