yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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