Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize