Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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