Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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