I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
