Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I touched a dick in church today
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize