What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
