She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
