yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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