that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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