Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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