yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
