i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
