One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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