sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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